Discouragement

I feel discouraged. I had some news today that completely took me off guard. It has Matt and I considering what we are doing here and what our longterm plans really are. Some of the consideration is great, but overall, I am feeling hurt.

I have to remind myself yet again that what I think may be best for me, or for anyone else for that matter, may not be. God is God. And He has blessed us in so many ways this year. And even this discouragement may be a blessing in disguise. Either way, it is an opportunity to learn and grow.

Matt has been reading some short bios of Christian saints gone by, and the biographer has commented about their endurance and faith, remarking that our own age is characterized by an emotional self-centeredness that might have been foreign to these great heroes. How much I need to learn!

"God moves in a mysterious way
His wonders to perform;
He plants His footsteps in the sea
And rides upon the storm.

Deep in unfathomable mines
Of never failing skill
He treasures up His bright designs
And works His sovereign will.

Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take;
The clouds ye so much dread
Are big with mercy and shall break
In blessings on your head.

Judge not the Lord by feeble sense,
But trust Him for His grace;
Behind a frowning providence
He hides a smiling face.

His purposes will ripen fast,
Unfolding every hour;
The bud may have a bitter taste,
But sweet will be the flower.

Blind unbelief is sure to err
And scan His work in vain;
God is His own interpreter,
And He will make it plain."

William Cowper

Snow Day!

It's snowing again! And I have a three day weekend.

A couple of days ago, I read The Great Divorce for the first time. Everytime I read him, fiction or non, I always come away with the feeling that my view of God and my desire for happiness in Him is much too small.

The Teacher says at one point:
'There is something in natural affection which will lead on to eternal love more easily than natural appetite could be led on, But there's also something in it which makes it easier to stop at the natural level and mistake it for the heavenly...It is a stronger angel, and therefore, when it falls, a fiercer devil."

We are commanded to honor our parents, and love our neighbors, for Christ's sake and glory. But at the same time, Jesus also said,

"Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. " Matthew 10:37-39

Matt reminded me of a Piper quotation the other day, saying, "Golgotha is not a suburb of Jerusalem!" As I have thought of the above Matthew verse in terms of the cross being a symbol of death, I am still not sure if I have a good idea of what that means living in an industrialized country in 2007. Several people have remarked to in recent years that we (in the American church) don't really know what suffering and persecution is. I am inclined to agree, but then how do we view passages like this rightly when our context is so removed?