Discouragement

I feel discouraged. I had some news today that completely took me off guard. It has Matt and I considering what we are doing here and what our longterm plans really are. Some of the consideration is great, but overall, I am feeling hurt.

I have to remind myself yet again that what I think may be best for me, or for anyone else for that matter, may not be. God is God. And He has blessed us in so many ways this year. And even this discouragement may be a blessing in disguise. Either way, it is an opportunity to learn and grow.

Matt has been reading some short bios of Christian saints gone by, and the biographer has commented about their endurance and faith, remarking that our own age is characterized by an emotional self-centeredness that might have been foreign to these great heroes. How much I need to learn!

"God moves in a mysterious way
His wonders to perform;
He plants His footsteps in the sea
And rides upon the storm.

Deep in unfathomable mines
Of never failing skill
He treasures up His bright designs
And works His sovereign will.

Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take;
The clouds ye so much dread
Are big with mercy and shall break
In blessings on your head.

Judge not the Lord by feeble sense,
But trust Him for His grace;
Behind a frowning providence
He hides a smiling face.

His purposes will ripen fast,
Unfolding every hour;
The bud may have a bitter taste,
But sweet will be the flower.

Blind unbelief is sure to err
And scan His work in vain;
God is His own interpreter,
And He will make it plain."

William Cowper

Snow Day!

It's snowing again! And I have a three day weekend.

A couple of days ago, I read The Great Divorce for the first time. Everytime I read him, fiction or non, I always come away with the feeling that my view of God and my desire for happiness in Him is much too small.

The Teacher says at one point:
'There is something in natural affection which will lead on to eternal love more easily than natural appetite could be led on, But there's also something in it which makes it easier to stop at the natural level and mistake it for the heavenly...It is a stronger angel, and therefore, when it falls, a fiercer devil."

We are commanded to honor our parents, and love our neighbors, for Christ's sake and glory. But at the same time, Jesus also said,

"Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. " Matthew 10:37-39

Matt reminded me of a Piper quotation the other day, saying, "Golgotha is not a suburb of Jerusalem!" As I have thought of the above Matthew verse in terms of the cross being a symbol of death, I am still not sure if I have a good idea of what that means living in an industrialized country in 2007. Several people have remarked to in recent years that we (in the American church) don't really know what suffering and persecution is. I am inclined to agree, but then how do we view passages like this rightly when our context is so removed?

Skiing!

I went skiiing yesterday for the first time in a few years...so much fun! I took this photo myself at Shawnee Peak in Maine. Whoohoo.

In other news...we're on February Break this week from teaching. The school year is going well. And can you believe it, just three more months to go!

Matt and I are taking a Hermeneutics class at our church. It's challenging, humbling, and enlightening all at the same time. I am coming away feeling better equipped to handle the word, but also realizing just how much work and pray go into it. But it's so important! And more and more I feel the weight of my responsiblity as a Christian school teacher, and not only that, the Bible teacher, to rightly divide the truth. Pray for me!

And...I am going to blog more. I think.

Informal anouncement...of sorts.

I have finally decided to begin a Master's Degree! I want to begin a Masters in Religion within the next year, hopefully next fall. We won't be moving, so I am looking at some online programs. I am pretty excited, though.

Thanksgiving in a couple of days and a five day weekend...phew.

The Internet

Sometimes, the internet is a very dark place, as though the veil of propriety were tossed aside and you have a vision of man in all of his fallen ugliness. It's as though we have abandoned the hard work of forming meaningful relationships and retreated into the security of the computer screen. It rather depressed me today.

I'm Back...and so is Baldacci. Sigh.

Despite the very disappointing results from yesterday's election, I have two thoughts on which to cling:

1. Romans 13: God places rulers and gives them authority.

In every situation, we may learn one thing or see one, two, or twenty ways God may be working, but our minds are so finite and short-sighted. In every situation, God is working and doing a THOUSAND different things which we know NOTHING about. Our faith must fall hard upon that sovereign thought.

2. The work of the church is missions.

As citizens, we are called to give to Casesar what is Caesar's and to God what is God's. My primary purpose as I strive to glorify God by enjoying him forever is to participate with the church in the work of missions. When I say missions, I mean working so that every nation, people, tribe and tongue might come before God in worship. I give Caesar my taxes, and my votes, but the church's offering to God is the nations. We must never confuse "taking the government for God" with a thoroughly Biblical theology of missions through the church.

"I have sought thee, sung thee, dreamed thee"...Man of La Mancha

Last night the Freeport Community Players closed its production of Man of La Mancha, the broadway musical story of Cervantes' Don Quixote. It was my great privilege to be a part of the Players and the musical as Antonia Quijana. It was a visual and auditory masterpiece. Since school is getting ready to begin, however, I am glad to have some rest. As I was driving home thinking about the relationships I had formed with quality, talented people and my new-found niche in the community theatre world, I thought about Christian cultural impact once again.

Or rather, how we don't impact the culture. Now I know there are, and have been, many Christians who say thet are fighting the culture wars. They write articles and give speeches (mostly to fellow Christians) and feel good about themselves. But so far, talking and writing (articles, at least) has not made a difference. Partly, non-Christians don't care what we say when we speak in Christian platitudes. We are losing the culture war.

Why? We don't make good art. We don't participate in good art. Unknowingly, the world is enjoying and imitating the beauty of God's natural revelation and the gift of his creative image in man while we are settling for pale reflections that we think are safe and modest.

Now I realize that the "academic discussions" are important in the culture war, but even more important, in my opinion, is that these talking heads, as well as Christians everywhere, take part in the creation of good art. When we excel or in the least, appreciate what is reflective of God's glory in good art, that's when the non-believing world takes notice. We need to be more incarnational and less rhetorical. These are talented people in the culture, for the most part, and we need to match their skill with skill, not verbal abuse.

And form relationships. Christians have a hard time forming realtionships with the unbelieving world, and most often hide behind articles, rallies, speeches and 80s hairdos. If I have learned anything in the past year, it's that relationships matter, perhaps more than anything else. We want to believe, wrongly, that choices and outcomes have to do with ability above all. But take our most important relationship- our relationship with God. If there is an functioning ability binding us, it is Christ's merit, but he did not merely perform a function for us. He restored our relationship with God. Think about all the time that business people spend netoworking or that law students spends interning. They need skill to land that job, but more than is often acknowleged it is important that there is relationship established. We need to establish a good relationship with the art world and those in. We need to learn from them and participate in good art with them, and beginning producing our own.